I had this dream about six months after my nephew Trevor died. It has been about a year and a half since I had the dream, but I still remember it like I had dreamt it just last night. Ever since I had the dream, I kept thinking that I need to write it down so that I would be sure not to forget it. I don't know why it has taken me so long. So here goes:
The dream started out at someone's house. I have no idea whose house it was, and it didn't look familiar to me at all, but there were tons of people there. It was a smaller house. Or maybe it just seemed small because there were so many people in it. We were all there to celebrate Trevor. In my dream I remember him making the rounds to talk to everyone. He made sure to visit with each and every person there. I remember watching him in my dream, just waiting until it was my turn to chat with him. The conversation Trevor and I had had to do with guitars. Trevor was an amazing musician. He played the guitar and bass. So I wanted to get his opinion on what type of guitar would be best to get for Trenton. I don't remember exactly what he said about the guitars, but I remember how animated and excited he was to talk about something he enjoyed doing so much. Which is exactly how he was in real life. He also told me how excited he was for us to have another baby and that he couldn't wait to meet her. I remember hearing him laugh a lot as he visited with everyone. And it sounded just like it had in real life. He had a very memorable laugh! After he had visited with everyone, it was time to go. Everyone piled into their cars and we all drove off to the next place. When we left the house it was sunny and warm, but as we drove along, the sky became cloudy, the temperature dropped, and it began to rain. It seemed like we were in the car for a long period of time, driving along an elevated highway in a big city. Then there it was. A big white building. And it was massive! (Think of an IKEA times five.) I had never seen such an enormous building before. There was a huge underground parking lot that we all parked in, then we got out of our cars and started filing into the building. There were so many hallways and corridors, with room after room at the end of each, and we just kept winding our way through the building. We were never given any directions on which room to go to, we all just seemed instinctually to know. We made our way to a room in the building that was full of pews. The front of the room was laden with bouquets and standing sprays of flowers. It was so quiet in the room as everyone found a seat. You could have heard a pin drop. Then one by one, each person took turns standing at the front of the room and told us what they admired most about Trevor, and how much they loved him. At one point, I saw Trevor stand up and start walking toward the back of the room. He looked different to me. When we were at the house, his hair had been a little bit longer, and a bit unruly. Now his hair was shorter and combed to perfection, and he looked slightly older. His clothes were different as well. He looked very clean cut. As he was walking by me, I mouthed the words "Where are you going?" to him. He just looked at me with a small, kind of sad smile on his face. He put his finger up to his lips, then continued walking, hands in his pockets. Nobody else in the room seemed to notice he was going. As he quietly slipped out of the room, I remember knowing he was going on to a better place. And then I woke up. And I awoke with such a sense of peace and calm that I hadn't felt in months. Amazing how a dream can do that.
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